


Home Alone

by Noelle (SilentFilmLover)



Category: The Young Ones (TV 1982)
Genre: M/M, Shower Sex, Slime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2480900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentFilmLover/pseuds/Noelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vyvyan finally gets the house and Rick all to himself for a whole night! He devises an ingenious ruse to get Rick take a shower with him, but things don't go exactly as planned...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Vyvyan is a bit softer around the edges than he normally is in this fandom (and, of course, the canon), especially considering this is a pre-relationship story. But then again, it's sometime post-canon (yes, they survived the crash, why the hell not, it's the Young Ones universe!). So anyway, he's a little bit more experienced by this point...Lucky Rick!

This was it. The day Vyvyan fantasized about since his first week in the share house. That was so long ago now that Vyvyan stopped believing it could actually come true...

He and Rick had the place to themselves!

Neil was at a hippy party, and Mike actually managed to get a date with the blonde chemist. They both left around the same time, and that was 15 minutes ago. Rick told Vyvyan he was going to take a shower, and if he promised not to tell the others (his turn wasn't for another two days), he promised not to tell if Vyvyan wanted one, too.

“No thanks, Rick. But you go ahead. I won't tell,” Vyvyan said a little too sweetly as he stirred in the ingredients for his latest experiment at the kitchen table. Rick wasn't convinced, but he was never one to think ahead. He had been at a protest all afternoon in the rain. It was worth it to see Professor Morrison's nipples through his soaked t-shirt, though. He wasn't even sure what the protest was for, but if his professor was there then it was probably for something he believed in.

In reality, Vyvyan did want a shower...But with Rick in it. Just seeing a sopping wet and shivering Rick come through the door that afternoon created an immense amount of pressure to build up against his tight-fitting jeans. However, bursting in on Rick showering and forcing his way in (the shower, that is) wouldn't be nearly as fun as what he had in store for him that evening. That course of action also had the potential to backfire and scare the little guy away, which for once, was the opposite of his intention. No, Vyvyan had waited too long for this. He was going to drag out the foreplay for as much as his will(y) would allow.

Vyvyan was a little worried, though. Not worried enough to abandon his sordid plans, but still.

What if Rick isn't a poof after all?

As surprising as that would be, he didn't have any definitive proof. The closest thing he had to that was the knowledge of Rick's dress, and Vyvyan learned the hard way that transvestism didn't necessarily make someone a homosexual. There was also that time Rick randomly squeezed his testicles during a fight...Who knows, maybe he just thought it would really hurt. And when Vyvyan almost gave himself away when discussing Rick's “girl bait” y-fronts in front of everybody, Rick looked disgusted at the thought of Vyvyan fancying him...Then a terrifying thought occurred to the love-sick punk.

Rick is most certainly gay or at least bisexual like him...But what if he really does find that thought disgusting?

Well, there was only one way to find out. If he reciprocated, great. If not, then back to violent torture...Great! The others would never believe Rick if he told them Vyvyan put the moves on him while they were out anyway. 

Vyvyan was having a smoke and a beer when Rick came downstairs to make himself tea. He watched the boy out of the corner of his eye while he pretended to watch the telly. The self-proclaimed anarchist was wearing his pjs and nightgown; his hair was still wet, and his face was flushed and slick with perspiration from the heat of the shower. If Vyvyan wasn't a medical student, he would've thought he was having a heart attack. 

Rick noticed a vat of something green and slimy bubbling on the stove when he put the kettle on. Since Neil wasn't home to cook one of his horrid lentil suppers (he left the two boys lentil sandwiches in the fridge instead), he asked Vyvyan, with an air of disgust and genuine curiosity, what in the name of Cliff it was.

“Just another experiment. Whatever you do, don't touch it. You'll be covered in boils before you can say 'I'm an ugly, poofy virgin!'”

“It looks like snot, Vyvyan!” Rick was too distracted by the revolting sight and smell to acknowledge the insult.

“Well, some if it is, actually. I've donated my snot to science!”

“And how, pray tell, will this monstERosity benefit science?”

“It's a cure.”

“For what?”

“For not being covered in boils!”

Rick looked warily back into the vat, and took a few steps back. It was starting to boil so much that some of it was getting on the counter.

“Um...I think it's ready, Vyvyan...It's starting to spill over.”

“Turn off the stove then, will you?” Vyvyan said as he smirked and looked at his watch. So far his plan was working perfectly.

 

A little while later, Rick and Vyvyan were sitting on the very small couch eating their sandwiches while watching some stupid program Rick wanted to watch. The punk had his arms outstretched so that one of them was touching the back of Rick's neck, and he was deliberately pressing his thigh against the sociology student's. His easily entertained housemate was apparently too enthralled by the show to either notice or care, though. But at one point the younger boy leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and his chin on the palms of his hands so that Vyvyan was no longer able to feel his soft, girly neck against his forearm...It was all he could do to keep from bashing in the telly with his foot. Vyvyan kept his eyes on his watch (he bought a digital one with Rick's money so he didn't have to bother Mike every time he wanted to know what time it was). When it read 7:32, he turned to Rick.

“Could you get me some tea, please, Rick? Oh, and uh, while you're up, could you look into the vat? The stuff should be a brownish-green by now.”

“What's wrong with your legs, Vyvyan?”

“Nothing. But there'll be something wrong with yours if you don't get off your girly bottom and do as I say! Mike left me in charge!”

Rick did as he was told. He didn't want to miss any more of his show, and he had another protest/Morrison-sighting the next day. Getting there without the use of his legs would be difficult (and unattractive).

“I think it's ready. Now it looks like snot mixed in with poo...Hey, Vyvyan, this stuff looks like it's ready to explo -”

KABOOM!!! SPLAT!!!

Rick's entire body and face and hair was covered in what he believed to be a cure for not having boils. Vyvyan tried hard not to laugh at how scared and ridiculous he looked. He was screaming and frantically rubbing an oven mitt over his precious face.

“Oh my god, Rick, we have to get you in the shower right away! C'mon!”

Vyvyan took hold of Rick's wrist, and they both ran upstairs to the lavatory. Trying to look as worried as possible, he quickly undressed the crying and trembling boy who was telling him how badly it burned which was impossible since there was nothing caustic in the substance whatsoever and it had been cooling for a half hour. The punk almost felt bad for having to take such drastic measures...But he'd make it up to him.

When he had Rick completely divested of his slimy garments and in the shower, he started pulling off his own clothes. Rick was too busy scrubbing away at his face to notice. Vyvyan got in the shower behind him, and reached for a shampoo bottle in front of Rick who whirled around with bulging eyes.

“WH-WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING IN HERE YOUNG MAN?!”

“I got some on me as well while undressing you. Better safe than sorry,” he said softly. Vyvyan could've sworn Rick blushed when he said the words “undressing you.” He lathered up his hands, turned him back around by the shoulders, and went to work on the boy's scalp.

“I – I can do that myself you know...Ahh...”

Vyvyan was giving Rick the best – well, first – scalp massage of his life, and he could feel the punk's soft pot-belly and a very erect penis brushing against his back. Rick was torn between terror and ecstasy. He always found something oddly attractive about his explosive housemate, but never once thought it might be possible that someone like Vyvyan could feel the same way about him. Besides, Professor Morrison was more his type. He was an intellectual like himself, after all. Someone like Vyvyan couldn't have wanted anything more than sex, and Rick needed more than that if he was going to lose his virginity to him. By now Vyvyan had rinsed out Rick's hair and had his arms hooked underneath the anarchist's so that he could run his hands up and down his concave belly and hairless chest as he licked a trail up the side of his neck towards his ear lobe, which he gently bit. Both were breathing heavily. Rick pulled the roaming hands off his torso as he turned around to face his enigmatic seducer. 

“Did you plan this?”

“Yep.”

“And that stuff doesn't wreally give you boils?”

“Nope.”

“...And it didn't have any snot in it?”

Vyvyan snorted and smiled at Rick in a way that said, “You're just too adorable to be allowed.”

“No.” Vyvyan took his face in his hands and kissed him softly, but Rick pulled his head away the moment he felt the pierced tongue in his mouth.

“I...Um...I don't...”

“What's wrong, Rick?” Vyvyan whispered.

“Nothing! I just...What if Neil or Mike gets home early?” Rick was legitimately concerned about this (so was Vyvyan, but this possibility only heightened his arousal), but that wasn't the real reason he was bailing out of finally losing his virginity. Vyvyan sensed this.

“They only left about an hour ago. We're okay...Don't be nervous...I'll show you how it's done...” Vyvyan leaned in for another kiss, and Rick didn't pull back this time. He closed his eyes and tried to just enjoy it as water splashed down over their faces, which is why he allowed the tears to the fall from his eyes. Vyvyan lifted up Rick's arms and wrapped them around his neck as he wrapped his own arms around the boy's scrawny waist. He gently ran his fingernails up and down the boy's back, eliciting moans. Vyvan was ready to burst. Rick felt his erection get harder when he heard Vyvyan moan as well. His cock was grazing the punk's thigh until a hand took hold of it...

“AHH!”

The punk squeezed, and slowly rubbed his thumb around the tip. He took the other boy's hand and placed it on his own throbbing cock, but wasn't prepared for the reaction. Rick's hand pulled away from it as if it was a radioactive, white-hot metal rod.

“I'm sorry I can't do this! Please don't be angry!”

Rick stumbled out of the shower as if he was escaping from Anthony Perkins, and hastily wrapped a towel around him. He was shaking all over. Before a shocked and slightly hurt Vyvyan had a chance to say anything Rick had left the lavatory. Realizing that his plan was a bust after all, the extremely frustrated punk finished himself off before catching up with Rick.

 

Knock knock.

“Rick? Can I come in? I'm not angry, I just want to talk.” That wasn't entirely true. He had just been refused by the most pathetic virgin in the world, and due to a long history of being denied love and affection, it didn't take much to set him off. But he was determined to keep his cool. Perhaps not all was lost yet...Perhaps it was just virgin cold feet that was the problem, and Rick would've reacted like that with anyone.

There was no response, but Vyvyan heard Rick coming to the door. He opened it slowly as if expecting there to be a lion behind it (which wasn't out of the realm of possiblity in this house), but was relieved to see a calm, fully dressed Vyvyan. He hadn't bothered to spike up his hair again, though, which made the punk seem even less intimidating. Rick let him in. Since his pj's were covered in slime, and all his other clothes were in Neil's room waiting to be sorted, he still wore nothing but the towel. They sat on the bed in awkward silence for about 30 seconds until Vyvyan spoke up.

“So what happened?”

Rick stared at the floor and sniffled a little bit. He had been crying somewhat, but he also felt like he was coming down with a cold due to protesting in the rain all afternoon. His sinuses and head were throbbing, and the situation wasn't helping. What transpired in the shower was the most pleasurable experience of his life...But it also made him feel terrified and dirty.

“I...I just don't think I'm ready.” Rick said in a low, shameful whisper as he studied his hands. Vyvyan rolled his eyes and gave a relieved-sounding chuckle.

“Rick, you're 21 going on 22 years old! You're supposed to be nervous the first time!”

Rick remained sullen, and he closed his eyes. A couple tears spilled down his cheeks, but he didn't seem to care as much at this point.

“Vyvyan, I know what I am, but it's still hard for me to accept it. My parents were very conservative and religious. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me, and even though now I know it's not true, it still feels wrong and dirty.”

“Well, it is dirty...That's why it's so fun! And there is definitely something wrong with you, Rick, but that's not why.” Vyvyan smiled wide as he wiped away Rick's tears with the back of his hand, and then he put his arm around the boy who was trembling from cold and nerves. He was taken aback and touched by this gesture, but then he braced himself. The other reason for running out was his desire for a relationship, not just a fling, but he was too embarrassed to say that so he said something else instead.

“It's not just that, though. I'm...I'm in love with somebody else.” The words sounded so silly to Rick once they were said out loud in his high-pitched, shaky voice, and he immediately wished he could take them back. Vyvyan pulled his arm away, and his white skin changed to traffic light red. Now he was angry.

“Don't tell me you're still on about that Professor Yellow Dungarees! He doesn't even know your name!” Vyvyan stomped over to the door and swung it open, then turned around. Rick was surprised he remembered his professor's yellow trousers, and he could've sworn the punk's eyes were welling up. “He probably thinks you're a sad, ugly git! Which you are!” The door was slammed with a force strong enough to register on the Richter scale (which it did, actually). Mike and Neil, who were miles away, felt the ground tremble beneath their feet.

Rick continued to sit on the bed, dumb-struck and feeling miserable, for what felt like an eternity to both him and Vyvyan who was sat on the couch with a full bottle of vodka and an episode of The Basterd Squad as his only comfort. SPG had laughed at him and said “Access denied, eh, ugly?” before he was tossed out the kitchen window with a crash. The trademark scowl was back on Vyvyan's face as he thought of ways to get back at Rick...Castrating Professor Morrison with a chainsaw had occurred to him at one point.

 

About 45 minutes later, Vyvyan was passed out on the couch, an empty vodka bottle by his side. He was shaken awake by Rick.

“Vyvyan? Vyvyan?! Wake up!”

Vyvyan woke with a start, and reflexively punched Rick in the face. When the boy stood up again, wiping blood from his nose, the punk looked at Rick as if he was an alien. He then cackled loudly at the sheepish, blue-dress and knee-sock wearing boy.

“What the hell is this!?”

“I didn't have anything else to wear...And...I wanted to make it up to you.” Vyvyan furrowed his eyebrows and smiled mischievously.

“...Make it up to me?”

“Yes. I'm really sorry about earlier. I...I actually am very attracted to you...And...I wouldn't mind losing my virginity to you, if...” By now Rick was sitting next to Vyvyan, fidgeting with his hem.

“...If what?”

“If you won't...You know...”

“What? Hurt you? You know I can't promise that.”

“No! Well, yes, in a way. I mean, are you just interested in sex, or...”

“No. I have loads of interests. Music, cars, The Basterd Squad...”

“No, Vyvyan! I don't mean that...”

“The answer's still no, Rick.” The punk smiled, and Rick, who took a moment to realize that the punk had been teasing him, smiled back.

“Promise?”

“Promise. But what about Professor Morrison?” He said in a mocking tone.

“He's too old for me,” Rick said with a shrug and a shy grin. He leaned over to kiss Vyvyan, but was overtaken with a very wet and loud sneeze. Snot and blood sprayed over Vyvyan's face. Rick looked embarrased and apologetic as he wiped the back of his hand over his nose. The punk stood up, smiling.

“Hold that thought. I'll be right back.” Rick watched Vyvyan run up the stairs like a giddy schoolboy and waited with bated breath as he held his nose with a tissue. He half-expected him to either come back with cold medicine or a torture implement of some kind...The latter was much more likely, of course.

Vyvyan came back downstairs a few minutes later, wearing nothing but Rick's tight-fitting yellow dungarees and his Doc Martens. He stood in front of a baffled and amused Rick, and flexed his bare biceps.

“Hello, Rick. I'm studly Professor Morrison,” Vyvyan said with a deep-voice. “And I'm going to shag that cold right out of you!”

Rick screamed and laughed as Vyvyan scooped Rick up off the couch, effortlessly slung him over his shoulder, and carried him to his bedroom...In all his excitement he forgot to lock the door.

*****************************

In the middle of the night, Mike and Neil returned home to a kitchen covered in slime and broken glass. Nothing unusual there, but they were still a little concerned. The house was unusually quiet for this time of night. They walked up the steps and towards Vyvyan's room. When Mike softly knocked on the door, and got no response, he slowly opened it...

There was Vyvyan wrapped around Rick under the covers, both sleeping soundly. Their strange outfits lay in a heap next to the bed. Mike and Neil smiled at each other as Mike shut the door behind them.

Their plan worked perfectly, too.

THE END


End file.
